When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography with Vicki Tiede | Theology Gals | Episode 22

On this episode of Theology Gals Coleen and Ashley talk with Vicki Tiede about her book When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart. This episode is not just for women who find themselves with a husband addicted to pornography. This episode is for all Christian women because we also address other topics including how we can help our sisters who are struggling through this situation.

Episode Note: Because this is a sensitive topic, please do not listen with children in the room. This episode is also not appropriate for our teenage listeners.

 

Episode Resources:

When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart by Vicki Tiede

Vicki Tiede’s Website

Vicki Tiede’s blog

Information on support groups

Check out the rest of Vicki’s books

 

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4 Comments
  1. Catherine 4 months ago

    I loved this episode of Theology Gals and I learned a lot from this podcast. I think speaking to the gals on this is a way we can love women and prepare them to know what to do should something this devastating happen in their marriages. Great job!
    One small thing that I was questioning (and I don’t want to try and put something in someone’s mouth that they didn’t mean) was towards the end when your guest was speaking about not being able to “counsel someone with breast cancer unless you yourself have gone through breast cancer” and I was a bit puzzled by that. In this day and age with so many people struggling in their marriages etc. it seems as though those who have battled through many years of marriage would be the perfect person to counsel someone who has gone through a divorce. With the theory that is being described above, I myself with 30+ years of marriage under my belt, would be limited to only counseling women who are married and not yet divorced? It almost made me feel like I’d be useless in many counseling encounters because I haven’t gone through “name any horrible event”. Is this what I was hearing, or did I misunderstand it? Maybe you could add just a bit more context to this because the warning sounded severe and I’m not certain how I will be able to counsel many of the ladies that I rub elbows with at church while I’m involved in women’s ministry situations like this almost every week. Isn’t God’s Word the ultimate salve and words of healing for “name that situation”? Again, I certainly don’t mean to stir a pot that doesn’t need stirring. I just want clarification in this. Again, thank you for your podcast. Well done!

    • Author
      Coleen Sharp 4 months ago

      I agree with you. Although I think some who has “been there” will have a specific perspective.
      I have gone through an illness and while many offered me encouragement, I felt very alone. It has been helpful when I can speak to someone who has been through a similar illness. They understand personally the struggles someone else can’t. I felt the same way after losing a baby. It was comforting talking to a woman who also had lost a baby and understood some things about what I was going through.

      I’ve been married 22 years and I have been blessed with a great marriage and wonderful husband but we’ve been able to offer counsel to those struggling in their marriage, so I think we can offer counsel even when we haven’t been in a certain situation. But I was at a loss when it came to the issue of pornography since my husband has never had a pornography problem. So I think we can offer counsel in many situations, even those we haven’t suffered through, but there can be benefits in speaking to someone who has been there

  2. Martha 4 months ago

    I was just listening to the No compromise radio show on help support groups being NOT biblical and they say the reason you dont have celebrate recovery (Rick Warren) groups in your church is you are putting like minded people with the same problems together, when you need a HEALTHY person and one who has NOT struggled with that sin to be the one to guide and help you.
    This made sense to me.
    Going to others with the same problem and thinking you can get help is like the blind leading the blind.

    • Author
      Coleen Sharp 4 months ago

      I’ll listen to it. Please remember that’s only one view. There’s reasons I don’t support celebrate recovery, but I also have seen some support groups can be helpful and I’ve seen it myself. There needs to be wisdom in how they’re set up.

      There’s very different kinds of support groups too. People who are suffering the results of sin, not their own or suffering the results of living in this fallen world, like an illness, those support groups are very different than a support group of people with the same sin struggles.

      As I said above when I lost a baby, there was much comfort when I was able to talk to women who also had. Before I did, I felt very alone. I found comfort in Christ, but I learned much from women who had been through it. While I can offer some things to women whose husband’s are addicted to pornography, my friend who went through it 15 years ago can offer some things I can’t. Both of us can live out things from Scripture with these women.

      And I don’t believe her husband in leading a support group in his church is the blind leading the blind. By God’s grace, he overcame his sexual addiction 15 years ago and has things to offer young men addicted to pornography that my husband doesn’t because my husband has never looked at or been addicted to pornography. I actually think I could make some light biblical cases for this. Unfortunately there’s no specific verse either way.

      As I said I don’t think all support groups are good but I think with wisdom, some can be helpful.

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