When Atheists Explain Evangelicals in America

There is nothing more obnoxious than atheists attempting to explain the Christian faith to Christians.  “Woke” atheists, more than likely raised by nominal, occasional church-going parents in theologically vapid denominations, scolding Evangelicals about how dumb and terrible Christianity is. If they happen to have blogs, they post ridiculous articles like this one:

America’s 100 Largest Churches Are All Anti-gay and Mostly Led by White Men

In this case, the writer isn’t even a Christian, but a bitter, secular Jewish feminist.  Highlighting a blog post from one of atheism’s favorite SBC apostate darlings, James Merritt, the writer breathlessly opines how the 100 largest churches in the U.S. are filled with racist, homophobic white people pastored by patriarchal man-spreaders. The comments under the blog post are even more hysterical, as participants warn how such primitive, antiquated notions not only embarrass Jesus (if he even existed), but they are killing Christianity.

Let’s do a bit of deconstruction.

I will begin by noting that I have never read an article telling me about America’s 100 largest leftist, progressive churches. I just Googled once again before posting this, lest I missed an article.

Nope. Didn’t find any.

There is a reason why I can’t find such articles. There are no large, progressive, gay-loving, ethnically diverse churches with women preachers. In fact, rather than being on the rise, leftist churches are dwindling in numbers while the racist, anti-gay, man-led churches are thriving. To the horror of feminist atheists everywhere falling down upon their fainting couches.

Remember when the Emergent church was a thing? I bet a lot of readers don’t. The Emergent church movement looked to be the latest and greatest revolution within Christianity. Problem was, however, so-called leaders within the Emergent church, most of who were white males, splintered away from each other squabbling over silly disagreements. If your whole shtick is promoting how cool diversity is, you can’t expect radical diversity to be unified around anything.

Back to our atheist feminist critic.

The two biggest complaints our pundit raises against those awful churches is the fact that they aren’t gay affirming and they don’t allow women preachers. Let’s consider those points in turn.

First, atheists, and their useful idiot progressive Christian allies, need to face the cold, hard truth that Bible-believing Evangelicals will never be gay affirming.

Ever.

That’s because, well, they believe the Bible. The Bible clearly, concisely, and undeniably condemns homosexual desires and behavior as an abomination before God. Gay apologists can contort the Scriptures into all sorts of knots to try and revise the text to teach otherwise and Matthew Vines may soak a thousand pillows with his tears, but that will not change the plain meaning of God’s Word and the convictions Christians have maintained toward same-sex sin for 2000 years.

Reality has a way of debunking such naive, Utopian pipe-dreams. Back when Proposition 8 passed in California banning gay marriage, before it was overturned by a homosexual activist judge, the passage had overwhelming support from African-Americans and Latinos. You know, those ethnic groups progressive liberals insist are outside the realm of modern conservative white Evangelical churches. Their overwhelming support of the proposition was such a punch in the face for liberals that a mad scramble took place in the media to explain away what happened.

Why Can’t Jory Micah Get a Preaching Gig?

Finally, our atheist grumbles about how all the top Evangelical churches are just big he-man woman-hater clubs. All the men there keep their womans at the house wearing blue jean skirts and chained to high-end suburban baby buggies that have the knobby tires.  Here’s why when an atheist offers up his criticisms of Evangelical Christianity he should immediately be blasted out of the room with a fire hose: Contrary to the false charge of sexism, there are a number of well-known women preachers. They’re just not the women preachers that feminist atheists like. (I don’t care for them either, but I have legit reasons).

Consider a moment Jory Micah. She has become the little sweet-heart of wanna-be female pastors. If you read her pleading testimony, she insist God has called her to be a preacher. She attended Bible school at an Assemblies of God university for the very purpose of becoming a preacher. She even had her dissertation on why women are allowed to preach turned into a book. Sadly, or at least as she describes it, she has been denied any preaching/pastoring opportunities because of the latent sexism in churches across the Evangelical spectrum.

If you know anything about the AoG, or historic Pentecostalism, as well as the Word of Faith/Charismatic movement, they are extremely warm to women preachers.  In fact, as I mentioned above, there are many well-known women preachers associated with that group.  That list includes Maria Woodworth-Etter, Paula White, Joyce Meyers, Juanita Bynum, Kathryn Kuhlman, Heidi Baker, Victoria Osteen, and Beth Moore just to name a few. The reason Jory Micah can’t get a preaching gig has nothing to do with her being a woman. Nor does it have anything to do with festering sexism in Evangelical churches. She can’t get a preaching gig because she’s a moonbat liberal feminist! All one has to do is follower her bizarre anti-Christian comments on Twitter to see what I mean.

Even all those women preachers from the lunatic wing of charismania never imbibe liberal theology and gay marriage. They’re ignored by atheists and progressive Christians because they are conservative, and not the screeching magenta-haired woman preachers. I mean, Paula White is Trump’s favorite Evangelical preacher. As goofy as she is, you won’t see her wearing rainbow colored robes behind her glass pulpit, and so feminist critics of Evangelicals ignore her.

Look. Just some words of advice atheists and the host of dopes trying to make “progressive” Christianity a thing. You would really improve your game if you actually knew what it was you were hating. You really need to get away from all of those ridiculous stereotypes you love to chortle about with your metrosexual friends down at the favorite coffee house. Maybe actually read what Evangelicals believe about these matters and why. Until you do, you’re becoming your own brand of cartoon character. You’ll continue to be laughed at and annoy Christians.

2 Comments
  1. Author
    Fredman 6 months ago

    I was at that place when I was younger as well. Didn’t really know how to respond. It just takes time and practice. Sometimes the better approach is just to let them preach at you and then just follow up with a well placed question or two that may exposes the bankruptcy of their worldview.

  2. Giovanni 6 months ago

    Man.. I wish I could analyze, write, and reason like you.. When progressive ‘Christian’ friends get emotional when confronted, I run out of words..

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